Klitchko-Imbragamov round by round

Pre fight- Well it's 4AM West coast time which kinda defeats the round by round running diary, but hey I just got off of work. I've got some Pizza Rolls in the oven and I'm juiced for this fight between two Russian fighters. Max Kellerman starts off with his best Dick Schaap impression by firing a near record 17 rhetorical questions in a 2 minute monolouge. A confusing description of why Kelly Pavlik may or may not be a great fighter. Max, its primetime HBO and Pavlik has just beaten Taylor, the best fighter in the division twice - go out on a limb and call him great. Lennox Lewis' mic cuts out and then Harold Lederman screams something unintelligible. Good start

The announcements- Imbragamov comes into the ring with hip-hop blaring. Interesting, he looks like a cross between Eli Manning, LJ Coulthurst and every aging Irish guy I played rugby against in Van Cortland Park. Next up is Klitchko referred to by Buffer as "Dr. Steelhammer". Fantastic. He looks in shape as always, but you know he has a bad chin so its always nervous if your rooting for him.

My Pizza Rolls are ready. We just gotten ready to rumble and I can't wait for the bell. Sultan is undefeated and this is the first time I've seen him fight - and actually seen him - though I have wagered against him at least twice in Vegas. For those scoring at home that makes me 0-2.

Round 1 - Is Vlad on stilts? He looks to be a good 7 inches taller than Sultan. Vlad has literally turned this into a slapfight as he paws at Sultan's right hand to block his jab. Very odd. Not much action. Feel out round. I'll give it to Vlad b/c he had a strategy. He stalked Sultan all over the ring and dictated the pace. Which was none. Imbragamov literally did nothing. He threw a few punches and never once looked to pressure Vlad. I can't give him the round. Vlad 1-0

Round 2- Another slow start to the round. Not a good sign. These guys styles do not complement each other and as we all know - "Styles make fights". This could be a 12round jab-a-thon. As Jim Lampley's hairpiece says numerous times, Vlad is landing his jab with regularity. And I couldn't have described the round any better. Vlad 2-0. Someone better turn the bolts on Sultan's neck and get him involved in this fight. He's sleepwalking.

Round 3- Lederman has it 1-1 and I have it 2-0 Vlad. Eh. More slapping and jabbing from Vlad. He lands a nice double jab right after Lennox says he should be using a double jab and backs Sultan into the corner. From this angle it looks as if Vlad is fighting a 12yr old boy.More punishing jabs. Take that Red Menace. Good burst of energy from Sultan. No real offense though. Vlad 3-0

Round 4-Compubox informs us that Vlad has thrown only two punches not considered jabs. And he's dominating the fight. Lederman has it 2-1 Vlad and gives a snivelling excuse for giving Sultan round 1. Nice shots from Vlad, but just big jabs. Sultan shows some life. I may give the round to Sultan I don't think he won it but Lennox keeps saying he's desperate and I know it won't be a shutout. Vlad 4-0. There's just not much going on in this fight

Round 5- Crowd boos. More jabs. Good combination from Vlad. And that's it. 1 combination in the round. Vlad wins it. 5-0. More boos from the crowd. To my knowledge Sultan landed 1 punch

Round 6- These guys are landing less than 10 punches a round. Thanks compubox. Where is Larry Merchant when you need him. I need someone to wax poetic about something. I'll go by my scoring sytem last round. Sultan landed a combination. Vlad did not. Vlad 5-1.

Round 7- Between rounds were highlights of Vlads jab. No shit, that was the package. Lederman agreed w/ me and gave last round to Sultan. he has it Vlad 4-2 I have Vlad 5-1. Action from Sultan. Kellerman thinks it a shutout. Vlad lands a good right hand that is the highlight of the round. Vlad 6-1.

Round 8 - Sultan has landed 56 punches in the fight. That's 8 a round. He's landing once every 20 seconds and it always a partially blocked right into the small of Vlad's back. I think I could land a punch every 20 seconds. Kellerman directly contradicts Lampley for at least the 5th time. They are like a girl and her ex-boyfriend's friend trying to work together. Kellerman is so passive agressive. Big right from Vlad. Few nice rights from Vlad. He wins another round. Vlad 7-1.

Round 9 - Some action from Vlad. A few big punches. Kellerman realizes its getting late in the fight and knows he needs to curry favor with Lampley, agrees with Jim about a possible knockdown ruling. Questionable. I was fine with not ruling it a knockdown. Vlad bounced Suktan into and briefly thru the ropes. Best combo of the fight. Vlad realizes he may be entertaining the crowd and immediately stops throwing punches. Vlad 8-1

Round 10- Only three to go. The "championship rounds". Replay shows it probably was a knockdown. Lampley announces he was right with a shrill evil proclamation. "So I was right!" Kellerman is noticeably silent. Lennox speaks for 45 consecutive seconds, boldy showing that he is king. Lampley coos along with him until Kellerman gets back from the bathroom to announce that its a streetfight now. A streetfight where one guy slaps and another guy doesn't throw any punches. Basically its West Side Story. Somewhere behind the drama of these three men trapped together... two Russians dance. Vlad 9-1

Round 11- I am dizzy from lack of sleep as I close in on 6AM. This fight is like the dupe tape on the bus in 'Speed'. It's the same thing over and over until Dennis Hopper notices the lady dropped her purse. Vlad punches Sutlan in the face - hard, to end the round. Kellerman has gone philisophical saying Vlad needs to be aware of his image. I think he needs to throw lots of punches, really hard. Vlad 10-1

Round 12- The guys are arguing about Vlad's trainers' greatness for the first minute and a half. More jabs. More boos from the crowd. Vlad 11-1

The decision- Dr. Steelhammer wins a unanimous decision. And draws a step closer to his eventual showdown with Nikolei Valuev. Kellerman phrases his question with a baseball reference to a lab nerd from Kiev. Vlad, of course, gives a non-sensical answer to a question that he couldn't possibly have understood. It's not TV it's HBO